We’ve spent a lot of time this week searching for the Archivist. So far our only lead is that the timing of his disappearance coincided very closely with a beneath-the-books experiment at a mass collider. We’re going to have to talk to the physicists and find out exactly what they were accelerating. There have been some reports that other beings not native to our dimension were affected by this as well, so please pass on the information if you know one or are one, ok? Not that I’m saying the Archivist isn’t native here or anything.
I (Eilidh) am going to have to fill in for the Archivist while he’s… away. It’s an intimidating prospect, moving from the stacks to the “front of house” for the Archive. To be honest it’s often intimidating working with the Archivist though. I mean, he’s always so calm, even when a dwarf scuttles off with his favourite fountain pen (apart from that one time with the flaming sword), but do you know he has been archivist for as long as the records go back? The really old records still haven’t been properly catalogued since we left Scotland. It’s a work in progress OK? But I took a look as far back as 1896 and there is no mention of a change in archivist. But then how would you tell when everyone just calls him Archivist? Does anyone apart from the wind even know his name?
Anyway, there’s been a snake in human clothing hanging around truck stops in North Dakota, so be careful truckers. No one has reported what kind of snake, or how the jacket stays on without shoulders to hang it off, but then apparently they’ve mostly been running away. That’s probably sensible behaviour. If anyone’s feeling brave and wants to report back though it would be great to know what the snake actually wants. If you take an animal psychic with you that would probably be helpful. (Or a psychic animal? But they aren’t as good at letting you know what’s going on.)
Hopefully we’ll get the Archivist back soon.