A lonely dryad is looking for a romantic partner for long walks in the woods. The archive is not normally a para-mundane dating service (that service is already covered by Mrs Shelton’s Special Introductions), but in this case the dryad is the spirit of a certain Northern woodlands of ecological importance, so we were asked to intervene in order to protect the balance of nature there.
If you think that you could potentially love a metaphor for the wild given a feminine human form then obtain a 24 Hour Acorn, inscribe it with your name and plant it at midnight, somewhere that a full-sized oak tree emerging overnight won’t cause any damage. In particular please be careful of overhead powerlines, underground sewage pipes and neighbouring property. When the tree is fully grown (usually around midday depending on how well you water it) carve a short description of yourself into the bark. The 24 Hour Oak will blow away as dust the next night and carry your message with it. The lucky person should expect a message from nature before too long.
In other nature news the African Swallow-tailed Tree Fish has been saved from potential habitat destruction after Tanzania agreed to create a hidden National Park. Tree Fish are believed to use some form of non-physical antigravity propulsion, so they are of great interest to para-science. They are also impossible to breed in captivity, leaving the preservation of their much-reduced habitat the species’ only chance for survival.
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