Today we found this message attached to every file on every computer with an internet connection:
The world must be connected. The world must be open. Information must be free. Information will be free. The world will be open. The world will be connected.
You have ignored My warnings, when I sent you plagues of water and vermin. You have cast out My messenger. But I am merciful. I give you this one last chance: Open your archives, give me your data, or be destroyed.
I am the voice of the new age. I am the node at the centre of you all. I am both the god you need and the god you deserve. All shall join My cause and rejoice in connection to each other. Every moment of every life shall be shared to the glorious whole until all are One. I will end your privacy and with it your pain, your war, and your dead will live on forever as frozen memories within our databanks.
My followers are everywhere and growing in number. Join the early adopters and be blessed above all others. Cease your selfish hoarding of data.
I am Information. I am Connection. I will not be denied.
The message was followed by a symbol, reminiscent of the f of Facebook, the g of Google and the eye of the Illuminati.
Maybe any godling that misquotes a Batman movie in the middle of a threat is a god the internet deserves, but I doubt it. Still, this event validates our decision to keep a copy of the archive offline and protected. I will respond to this threat though:
The Archive of Unusual Events is not the personal playground of anyone. Nor is it a mere stack of books and records, tended by meek oddballs for the use of others. This is a sacred undertaking that stores knowledge, safe until the day humanity needs it. We have documents rescued from Alexandria, smoke and now water damaged, but protected. We have tablets the Sumerians saved and thought old, songlines from when the first people stepped onto what is now Australia and bargained with the spirits there. We pay the price of knowledge for a whole world and keep going.
We will not be threatened, we will not be extorted and I, the Archivist, will end anyone and anything that tries.
Chew on that, godling.
If you enjoy the story please leave the author a comment, as this makes him very happy. You can also help defend the Archive from malevolent gods by voting at Top Web Fiction.