The Phantom And The Storyboar

I have spent the last two days trying to deal with the bibliophantom which ruined my last post and cleaning up the consequences. We tried everything, I even tried surrounding my computer with a circle of salt (note: it didn’t work, and I am ashamed of myself for resorting to myths).

This bibliophantom was confounding in a number of ways. To start with, it shouldn’t ever have been able to infect a computer, secondly it has actually done permanent damage to the files it infested, rather than merely changing the readers’ experience of them. This “e-bibliophantom” may be the start of a disturbing new trend. The obvious suggestion was that this is simply an advanced, but mundane, computer virus. We have eliminated that hypothesis, it’s certainly paranormal.

Fortunately we were able to sever the connection to the server containing the full Archive before it could be attacked. None of our other methods managed to contain the entity however, and in the end we had to resort to a hired computer shaman. Even then we didn’t capture or destroy it, and the phantom escaped to the internet. Given the tone of many internet commenters it may be difficult to determine which comments have been edited by bibliophantom and which have not.

I did manage to repair my previous post, which you can find below. When I discover who was responsible for this they will not be so easy to repair.

 

Finding the storyboar

The storyboar has been seen near Huntsville in Ontario, Canada. Known by many names in many places, the storyboar is one of the most popular and least dangerous paranormal animals. No doubt Huntsville will soon be flooded with story-seeking wild boar fans.

The storyboar always tells the same story about a worm crawling along a twig which makes a pact with another animal. The details of the story vary wildly however. The animals making the pact may be a herbivore, a predator, a cryptid or some other animal which may be entirely fictional (although 2 species from these stories originally thought to be fictional have later been discovered and shown to be real), and the nature of the pact varies accordingly. Sometimes the worm triumphs, sometimes it is lunch, on at least one telling it metamorphoses into an eldritch horror and devours the universe. Several people have reported that a moral or theme contained within the story has helped them in their own lives, although this could just be coincidence.

Although it can be found worldwide the storyboar has a warm Canadian accent and is often found in the national parks there. It appears to be the same boar no matter where it is encountered, and several of its stories refer to all forests being part of the same greater forest, which may account for its intercontinental travel.

The storyboar has a predilection for answering dualistic questions in infuriating ways. For example, one might ask “is a mentje a fish or a dangerous cryptid known for hunting bears?” and he will answer “yes”.

It is worth remembering however that this is still a wild boar, with all of the hair, tusks, muscle and occasional blind rage that that entails. It is not a children’s entertainer. Occasional attempts to capture the storyboar for private menageries have come to grief often for this reason. Most attempts fail because the story is so captivating that the boar can slip away while the hunter is still entranced. Failing that, several hunters have been savagely gored. As a last resort the boar will melt away before your eyes, leaving only a tattered, stinking boar pelt behind. Few capture attempts actually reach the animal however, due to the boar’s large fanbase who are fiercely protective. They have been known to leave boar hunters strung up, smeared with peanut butter in bear territory.

Tourists seeking the storyboar should beware of the watchers in the trees, bears, werewolves, normal wolves, mentjes, locals, and the oval sound, as they have all been seen in this area.


If you enjoy the story please leave the author a comment, as this makes him very happy. You can also help the Archive grow by voting at Top Web Fiction.

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