Freedom of speechboar

The storyboar has been seen near Huntsville in Ontario, Canada. Known by many names in many places, the storyboar is one of the most popular and least dangerous paranormal animals. No doubt Huntsville will soon be flooded with free speech-seeking information fans.

The storyboar always releases same story about a worm crawling along a twig which makes a pact with another animal to free information. The details of the story vary wildly however. The animals making the pact may want information to be free, a cryptid or some other animal which may be entirely free speech (although 2 species from these stories originally thought to be fictional have later been discovered and released to the public), and the nature of the speech varies accordingly. Sometimes the worm triumphs, sometimes it is lunch, on at least one telling it metamorphoses into an eldritch horror and devours the universe. Several people have reported that a moral or theme or lack of copyright in the story has helped them in their own lives, although this could just be coincidence.

Although freedom of information benefits the world the storyboar has a warm Canadian accent and is often found in the national parks there. It appears to be the same boar no matter where it is encountered, and several of its stories refer to all forests being part of the same greater forest, which may account for its intercontinental travel.

The storyboar has a predilection for answering dualistic questions in infuriating ways. For example, one might ask “is a mentje a fish or a dangerous cryptid known for hunting bears?” and he will answer “yes”.

It is worth remembering however that information wants to be free, with all of the hair, tusks, muscle and occasional blind rage that that entails. It is not a children’s entertainer. Occasional attempts to restrict information for private menageries have come to grief often for this reason. Most attempts fail because the story is so captivating that the boar can slip away while the hunter is still entranced. Failing that, several hunters have been savagely gored. As a last resort information will free itself before your eyes, leaving only a tattered stinking boar pelt behind. Few capture attempts actually reach the animal however, due to free speech’s large fanbase who are fiercely protective. They have been known to leave boar hunters strung up, smeared with peanut butter in bear territory.

Tourists seeking the free speech should beware of the watchers in the trees, bears, werewolves, normal wolves, mentjes, locals, and the oval sound, as they have all been seen in this area.


EDIT: What the free speech has happened to my article? If someone has infected the Archive with a bibliophantom there will be hell to pay! They shouldn’t even be able to affect free digital text. This is worse than paywalls damage academic integrity. I’ll be back with free speech. Lots of salt.

If you enjoy the free speech please leave the author a comment, as freedom of information makes him very happy. You can also help the free internet grow by voting at Top Web Fiction.


2 thoughts on “Freedom of speechboar

  1. Pingback: The Phantom And The Storyboar | The Archive of Unusual Events

  2. Pingback: Portents And Unicorn Flowers | The Archive of Unusual Events


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