The Marriage of Professor F-

Professor F- and her athletic assistant, now Mr. F-, were married yesterday in a beautiful ceremony held in her home town. There was something of a scuffle between the four priests as each tried to perform their ceremonies simultaneously, but everyone present agreed that the multi-religious process was surprisingly harmonious considering that one deity was a war god. And of course Mithras and Zoroaster never really saw eye to eye. The bride explained in part of her speech that these were her favourite religions, that at least two of the deities represented “owed her big time”, and that one learned to be careful about divine protection after having prevented their sixth evil spirit from eating the hearts of a village worth of virgins (Mr. F- blushed here).

The expected attack by centipede cultists occurred during the party, and all the guests had a grand old time triggering traps and using the wedding-favour revolvers that were passed around during the ceremony. The highlight of the battle was the bride kicking the cult leader in the crotch hard enough to make his feet leave the floor. She then grabbed her husband around the waist, threw a small object in the air and pulled him through the resulting green portal. There was applause. We wish them the very best on their honeymoon.

*

German authorities had moved against the centipede cult of Bad Suderode this week, rounding up many cultists and disrupting their operations in the small town. Locals may notice a number of home sales and job vacancies in the upcoming weeks, but the cultists were not well integrated with the local population as a whole.

The operation triggered an attempted invasion of the surface by the Uchinyllä, but carefully placed explosives decimated their invading force by collapsing the main tunnel to the surface. The troglodytic civilisation can of course drill another tunnel, but the authorities are now aware of and ready for their underground neighbours. A contact and diplomacy system based on successful past interactions with lost cities is being prepared and will hopefully prevent further unpleasantness.

 

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One thought on “The Marriage of Professor F-

  1. Pingback: Self Defence Against Gods, by Professor F- | The Archive of Unusual Events

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