Mrs Brown’s Handbag Missing

We are putting out an urgent request for assistance in finding Mrs Brown’s Handbag. The handbag survived (naturally) the deluge that destroyed the old Archive and was relocated to our new premises. It is now missing, and possibly has been for several days. Security footage has showed no anomalies or entrants to the bag’s former location.

Mrs Brown handbag

An associate of the Archive was visiting the Bronze Doe’s reserve in order to check the new safety precautions taken to defend her. His report is as follows:

‘As the last of the sunset disappeared over the [redacted] the light reflected from an object beneath the trees. I froze as the Doe approached cautiously from the deep woods. She moves silently and so like a real deer, it’s uncanny. Her voice is a rich alto that seems to come from the ground, like you’re hearing with your feet instead of your ears.

“Keep your ear to the ground for Mrs Brown.” She said, and bounded away flicking her bronze tail.’

A subsequent search found the handbag was indeed missing. Could the possible attack on the Bronze Doe have been to prevent us getting this information? If so it seems to have failed. Disturbingly, the instigator of the attack would have had to be able to predict the oracle’s message.

The object known as Mrs Brown’s Handbag has been with humanity since before recorded history. It always looks similar, but never the same to two different people. It has a single short handle and a narrow horizontal decorative band, above which are three flowers with red centres and yellow petals. The exact design and materials differ, apparently according to what the observer expects to see in a handbag. The bag is shown being carried by gods and other mythic figures in a number of ancient statues and carvings from around the world. It is almost certainly indestructible.

When in an English speaking nation the bag is always found and claimed by someone named Mrs Brown. In other language regions it will find someone with an equivalent name depending on the culture, but we will use Mrs Brown here. It first came to modern attention as being more than a handbag when wielded by an Esmerelda Brown of Ilford, who single-handedly cleared a London based gang out of her home village at the age of 65. It seems the bag empowers its current Mrs Brown to deal with the injustices she sees around her in everyday life, but it is extremely subjective. Other verified Mrs Browns have, for example, conducted a strongly worded letter campaign against the BBC on the grounds of “declining moral standards”.

It is imperative that we determine the current location of the handbag. If an outside force is manipulating its location untold damage could be done, for example by finding a Mrs Brown with deep racist or criminal tendencies.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Mrs Brown’s Handbag Missing

  1. Pingback: Dwarven Removal and Possible Handbag Sighting | The Archive of Unusual Events

  2. Pingback: Mrs Brown’s Handbag’s Surprising Defenders | The Archive of Unusual Events

Discuss

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s